


Feel Steady Again

by SushiOwl



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), F/F, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 07:51:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1420339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SushiOwl/pseuds/SushiOwl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a long time since anyone's seen Allison, and she has changed. Lydia tries to reconnect with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feel Steady Again

**Author's Note:**

> Beta read by [WhatTheHale](http://archiveofourown.org/users/whatthehale).
> 
> Anon request on Tumblr: Could you do a ficlet on how Allison (who never dies of course) had left Beacon Hills but returns years later, changed? She's a badass hunter that had become very cold and closed off but Lydia is able to break through her defenses and reach the girl she used to be. It could be friendship or romantic, either would be fine.

Allison was leaving. They'd just graduated from high school, and even though she had a place on the US Olympic archery team, Allison had packed up everything and gone with her father on the road. "I'm all he has," she'd told Lydia. "And hunting is what he does. So we're going to hunt. Don't worry." She'd hugged Lydia around her neck. "I'll keep in touch.

And she had, at first.

They'd texted and called each other all the time. Sometimes they'd even Skyped if the hotel that Allison and her dad were staying in had good enough wifi. They were still best friends. Even if Allison was trekking all over the US and even Canada a couple times, chasing down baddies, and Lydia was at Berkeley going to classes and getting her degree, the distance didn't matter.

Then Allison stopped Skyping. That was fine though, because Lydia understood that Allison was busy. She was busy too, after all. They stopped talking on the phone too, which made Lydia sad because she could stay up all night listening to Allison talk. Then Allison was only answering her texts every now and then with one word, impersonal answers. Lydia would ask where she was and what she was after, and Allison would just say she'd talk to her later. And finally, Lydia sent her a text **Hey, how are you? :)** and all she got back was silence.

So she stopped trying.

It was years later and Lydia was back in Beacon Hills. She had her degree, and she was well on the way of solving the Riemann hypothesis. She'd already finished off P vs NP and collected her Millennium Prize. They'd asked her kindly to leave some problems for other people, and she'd just smiled. As if.

She was driving her car down the main street, just casually flipping through her iPod and trying to figure out if she was in the mood for Icona Pop or OK Go. She glanced over to the side of the street where people were moseying up and down the sidewalk. Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head when she saw someone way too familiar. She nearly hit the person in front of her while she was staring over her shoulder and trying to get a good look.

Allison!

She whipped her car into a spot on the side of the street and hopped out of her car, getting honked at and not even caring enough to flip them off. She hurried down that sidewalk, searching out the person she'd just seen. She knew the percentage of possibility that she'd really just seen her best friend was minimal, unfavorable, but she didn't give a fuck. She had to at least search.

Two people parted in front her, looking concerned, and Lydia saw her. Her heart leapt into her throat and her eyes misted up. "Allison!" she cried, and the woman looked toward her, only having enough time to be surprised before Lydia threw her arms around her. "I can't believe you're here!" she said in a rush, pressing her full body against her.

And Allison didn't hug her back.

It took a while for Lydia to notice, but she eventually did and slowly drew back, looking at Allison's face. There wasn't an ounce of warmth in her brown eyes. So Lydia took a couple steps back, clearing her throat. "I'm sorry. I just kind of pounced you. I'm just so happy to see you," Lydia said, swallowing. "What are you doing in town?"  
Allison gestured with her thumb at the shop they were next to.

Lydia looked. Al's Ammo Shop. "Oh," she said softly. "You're working a case?"

"Yeah," Allison said flatly, but Lydia was still glad to hear her voice.

"Well I--Can we hang out before you move on?" Lydia asked.

Allison looked pained. "I don't know--"

"It's okay if you can't!" Lydia said hurriedly, before she reached into her purse to pull out a small notepad and a pink pen. "Just, here, this is my new address and my phone number--that's not new, but just in case you need it again." She ripped out the piece of paper and offered it to her. "Just--" She floundered for a second. "I miss you," she finished in a small voice.

Allison's brows came together, and the hard line of her mouth softened. She looked down at the note and took it. "I'll try, but I can't promise anything," she said as she folded it and put it in the pocket of her leather jacket.

"That's all I can ask," Lydia said, and they held eye contact for a moment, Lydia searching for some flicker of emotion instead of flatness, but Allison just averted her stare and went into the gun shop.

So Lydia went home and called _everybody._ Scott, who was working full time at the vet's office since he had his degree and Deaton had retired, was overjoyed but also skeptical. He hadn't talked to her in years either, and she hadn't contacted him about her hunter business even though he was alpha and Beacon Hills was pack territory. Stiles, who ran a game development company with Danny, who of the impression that having a hunter in the area could only be bad, even it it was Allison. Derek didn't answer the phone, but he lived with Stiles so he'd get the message. Cora would stay vigilant. Erica and Boyd were both going to stay inside for the unforeseeable future. And Isaac was just happy Allison was alive.

Lydia couldn't concentrate on a damn thing after that. She just kept thinking about Allison, about the cold, even stare she'd regarded Lydia with. She hadn't been friendly at all. They'd been like sisters once. Didn't that count for something?

She bit her perfect thumbnail. She'd loved Allison once. Not the kind of love that two best friends shared but more. She couldn't help it. Allison had just understood her in a way no one else could. She'd known when to offer comfort, a shoulder to cry on, and known when Lydia was obsessing over something not worth it and told her to just get over it. Lydia's heart used to swell whenever she'd see Allison down the hall, and Allison would wave to her, smiling brightly.

Where had that girl gone?

Lydia ended up sitting in her living room, waiting for Allison to call or show up. She kept glancing into the entryway at the door, just sure that if she looked that time Allison would be just coming in the door. An hour passed. And another. And some more. At around ten at night she realized she hadn't eaten since that morning, so she ordered some Thai takeout (with extra just in case) and ate it in her pajamas with a bottle of wine. At nearly three in the morning, she went up to bed and tried not to cry too hard.

Time went on just like that, and after a while Lydia stopped waiting on the head of a pin and went back to her life. She ended up solving the Riemann hypothesis, and the Clay Mathematics Institute tried to distract her from solving anymore by offering her a teaching position of the highest caliber and pay. Having two Millennium Prizes, she wasn't hard up for money, but she could do with a challenge. There wasn't really anything keeping her in Beacon Hills.

One night she came home from grocery shopping and found an unfamiliar black SUV in her driveway. She pulled up next to it, and her heart stopped when she saw Allison leaning against the front. She got out of her car immediately and hurried around her car, but then she slowed. No, she was not going to be eager this time. 

“Hi,” she said, and Allison gave her a flat smile. “It's been a month. I thought you'd left town by now.”

“I did,” Allison said, shrugging her shoulders. “I came back.” She fisted her hands and put them in the pockets of her jackets.

“Oh,” Lydia replied, before she swallowed. “Well, you didn't have to wait in my driveway. There's an extra key under the mat. If you'd called me, I would have told you that.”

Allison swept her eyes away. “I... I was deciding whether or not to stay.”

Lydia stared at her, feeling her eyes start to sting. “Are you?” she asked thickly.

Those brown eyes came back to Lydia face slowly, and there was a light in them, however small, that hadn't been there before. “If you want me to.”

God, did Lydia ever want her to. She took a deep breath and gave a watery smile. “You can stay as long as you want if you help me carry the groceries in.”

Allison snorted the corner of her mouth twitching up.

After the groceries were put away, Lydia grabbed a bottle of moscato and two glasses and went into the living room. Allison was standing near the far wall, looking at the pictures that numbered far too many to be neatly displayed. That was alright. There was organization in the chaos because they were arranged chronologically. 

Lydia approached her, offering her a glass, which she took and sipped before looking back at the wall. “No one's really changed much,” Lydia assured her with a little laugh.

“Scott?” Allison asked, her eyes searching the wall.

Lydia pointed to a picture of him in front of the vet's office with Deaton. “He's doing fine. He's—He's married now.” She indicated to another picture of Scott with his arm around a woman. “Her name is Kira. She's very nice. They're expecting.”

“That's...” Allison looked down at her glass. “That's good. I'm glad he's happy.”

Lydia gazed at her profile for a moment. She was still so pretty, but there was a hardness there now. If she kept staring, she was going to say something unwise, so she looked back at the wall and just started to talk about the pack. Allison wasn't surprised to learn that Stiles and Derek had ended up together, because everyone saw that coming a mile away. Erica and Boyd had gotten married. Cora had gotten an accounting degree. Peter had jumped in front of sorcerer’s bolt of lightning to save Derek, surprising everyone, and Allison lifted a brow. Isaac worked at a daycare and was happy as could be.

Eventually Lydia ran out of things to say, and Allison probably wasn't interested in the intricate workings of equation solving. So she flubbed a little. “How—how's your dad?”

Allison didn't even blink. “Dead.”

Lydia nearly sloshed her wine onto her front. “You—God, I'm so sorry.”

Allison just slid her eyes away, flat and cold again.

God, was that what did it? Was that why she stopped communicating? Was that what _broke_ her?

Allison was turning away, going over to the couch, and Lydia's eyes followed her movements. She set her glass on the coffee table and shrugged off her jacket. She was wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath, and Lydia spotted something black on her upper arm.

“You have a tattoo,” she said, moving over to get a better look at it. It was a star with a ring of fire around it, in all black. “It's...”

Allison lifted her arm and looked at it. “It's ugly,” she said. “I didn't get it for looks. It's an anti-possession tattoo. I ran into these pair of brothers in Kansas that are also hunters, and they turned me on to it.”

“Neat,” was all Lydia could really say. She sipped her wine again. “How long are you going to be in town?”

“Not long. I'll probably leave in the morning,” Allison replied, sitting down and leaning back.

Lydia's chin trembled, and she hurried around the couch to set her glass down and stand over Allison. “Then can I tell you something since I probably won't get another chance because you're going to leave and not talk to me ever again?” She didn't give her a chance to do anything but look surprised. “You were my friend. My best friend, Allison. I missed you, so much. We used to do everything together, tell each other everything. So, in the spirit of what our friendship _used_ to be, I'm just going to be straight with you. I have always been attracted to you.” She took a deep breath. That wasn't quite right. “No, fuck it. You're just going to leave. There are no consequences. I love you!”

Lydia gulped in a breath, grabbing her glass and draining it before she plopped down on the couch. There. It was out in the open. There was nothing left unsaid on her side. If—When Allison disappeared again, at least she'd said her piece. 

They were silent for a long, heavy moment, before Lydia watched out of the corner of her eye as Allison took a deep breath then scooted closer. She approached Lydia like she was a small, wild animal, like any sudden movement would scare her away. She looped her arms around Lydia's arms, leaning her cheek against her shoulder and facing the back of the couch.

Lydia held her breath.

“I missed you too, Lydia,” Allison said, her voice barely above a whisper. “But being here is—it's terrifying. Everywhere I look, there's something from my past, something that makes me feel like that girl that had all these friends and didn't know how ugly it is out there in the world.” She lifted her head. “It makes me feel like I did when my dad was alive, when I felt invincible. But I wasn't prepared. I got scared, and he told me to run, and the next thing I knew he was dead.” Her voice was strained, and Lydia lifted her hands to lay them over her arm. “Being here makes me feel vulnerable. Weak.”

“You're not weak,” Lydia said immediately, holding onto Allison's hand as she pulled away. “You've never been weak.” She held Allison's hand between hers and looked at her face, finding her eyes wet, but Allison wiped at them with her free hand. “You're so strong, Allison. Things keep happening to you, but you've never leaned on anyone. You always find your own strength.”

Allison rubbed the heel of her hand into her eye, smiling and laughing before it broke into a sob. “I don't know if I can do that anymore.”

“You don't have to do it alone. You can just—just call me, whenever and wherever you are. I'll answer and you can talk to me until you feel steady again. Even the strongest people need a little help every now and then. It doesn't make you weak, it makes you...” Lydia hummed as she thought about it, before she smiled. “Resourceful.”

That pulled a startled and sweet laugh out of Allison, and she nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Lydia asked, perking up. “You mean it?”

“Yeah, I mean it.” There was warmth in her face, a flush across her pale cheeks that was beautiful.

Lydia stared at her, before she leaned forward suddenly and pressed their lips together. There was a breath of hesitation, before Allison kissed her back. They did that for a while. Lydia ended up in Allison's lap at one point. Then they went to bed.

When Lydia woke up, she immediately expected Allison to be gone. But when she looked over she found her asleep on the pillow next to her, her long dark hair in a halo around her head. Lydia smiled and scooted close and kissed Allison's cute nose.

Allison was slowly roused from sleep, and she smiled a bright, lovely smile that made her look so young. “Morning.” She yawned. “I was thinking. Maybe I'll stay in Beacon Hills, make it my home base. It'd be nice to have a place stay.”

“Yeah?” Lydia purred.

“Yeah, and someone to come back to.” Allison brushed her lip against Lydia's.

“Good,” Lydia said.

Later she called the Clay Mathematics Institute and declined their offer. She had a reason to stay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks always to [WhatTheHale](http://archiveofourown.org/users/whatthehale).
> 
> Come visit me on [tumblr](thesushiowl.tumblr.com). :D


End file.
